My father’s final words to me were:
You’re fucked in the head! You know that? You’re fucked in the head! You didn’t know Big Daddy like I did! And you didn’t know Mamma Jean! She can shove that bible up her goddamn ass! And Janice, too! Fuck them! And fuck you! I should have whupped’ your ass more than I did when you was a kid. You’re fucked in the head! Just like your mother! She was always fucked in the head! That’s why I put you with Ed White! I had to keep you safe from her! You know what I want? I want you to kneel before me, with tears in your eyes, and look up at Your Old Man with love in your eyes! Fuck you, you scrawny little shit! Fuck you! Fuck you!!! You’re just like George Washington! He was crazy, too. He killed people and America calls him a hero. Bullshit! And you never whupped’ my ass! I let you go! I let you go! You told me you joined the marines, and I told you not to, and I told you about Audry Murphy, and you didn’t listen! You didn’t listen! And you blame me for your shitty life! And you say that shit on TV, and Janice tells me she prays for you and I have to listen to her jesus Shit. Fuck God! Goddamn fuck you, old man! Fuck you! You didn’t know Daddy like I did! You call me when you get your shit together. You should go see a psychiatrist. That’s what you should do. Go talk to a fucking psychiatrist. They would get your head straight. They never could get Wendy straight. I “warped her?” What the fuck does that mean? She was fucked in the head, just like you!
Don’t worry, I won’t try to contact you again. Call me when you get your head out of your ass.